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Writer's pictureRosa Stevens

The Unexpected Loneliness of Becoming a Counsellor: Why You're Not Alone.


Are you a student counsellor embarking on your journey of self-discovery? You're likely witnessing incredible transformations in yourself and your clients. But what if we told you this path, while ultimately rewarding, can also feel isolating at times?

This hidden aspect of counsellor training rarely gets discussed. We shed old habits, unearth core values, and construct our authentic selves. This metamorphosis, beautiful as it is, can be a bumpy ride. You might even feel like your life is being deconstructed, leaving you feeling lonely and unsure.

Here's why growth can feel isolating:

  • Shifting Values: As you evolve, your priorities and interests might diverge from those around you. Conversations you once enjoyed may become strained. This is because you're shedding values that weren't truly yours and embracing your authentic self.

  • Shedding Protection:  Personal growth often involves letting go of unhealthy behaviours and relationships. While necessary for your development, it can trigger similar defensive mechanisms in friends and family, leading to temporary disconnects.

  • The "New You":  Embracing your authentic self can be exhilarating, but explaining this new version to others can be challenging. You might need to find new support networks, and some existing relationships might change or even end.

But fear not! There's an antidote to this loneliness: Peer Support.

Connecting with fellow counsellors-in-training who understand your journey is invaluable. Peer groups offer:

  • Safe Spaces: Connect with like-minded individuals who share your experiences and aspirations. This fosters a sense of belonging and understanding.

  • Shared Struggles:  Openly discuss the challenges of growth. Realize you're not alone in feeling isolated during this transformative period. Normalize the growing pains – they're a sign you're on the right track!

  • Healthy Coping Mechanisms:  Together, explore healthy ways to manage loneliness, like hobbies, self-care practices, or volunteering.

Here's how experienced counsellors can support you:

  • Identifying Needs:  Explore your sense of loneliness and how it connects to your growth in one-on-one sessions.

  • Finding Your Tribe:  Help you identify additional support groups that resonate with your evolving self.

  • Group Discussions:  Facilitate open conversations about the challenges and benefits of personal growth, normalizing feelings of loneliness.

  • Communication Skills:  Encourage open communication with existing friends about your growth journey. Vulnerability fosters connection.

Remember, personal growth for student counsellors can be isolating, but fostering peer support empowers you to navigate this journey with more ease. You'll find the companionship that fuels growth, and emerge a more authentic and effective counsellor. After all, sometimes, the greatest growth happens in the company of others who understand.


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